faith - in women

Yeah, I'm talking to you!! *grrr* my faith in the female species (wham) is dwindling. Why has it become so trendy amongst girls to be 'blond-ish' (no offense meant to you blondes!)?! Are any of you intelligent beings or are you simply... simple?! Right, I know that many of you are intelligent in many more ways than me but this is only because of a few of you standing up for yourself! (thanks and applause to those few - some in Denmark, one in the States. -hope you know who you are!)

I'm bad at expressing myself.

my audience, my way of life

- all gone...? Changed, in any case. I've started reading philosophy books, reading that I increasingly find describes me: Albert Camus. French philosopher who died sometime after the fifties and of course, our very own Søren Kierkegaard. I hear there are Japanese people who learn Danish just to be able to read his stuff in the original language! Now that's wacked! But as I was saying, this reading's putting words on motives, behavioral patterns even desires that I never knew I had! Neways, read "The Fall" (or is it "Fallen"?) by Camus and I guess you'll understand better.

The thing about losing my audience is really that my motives and desires are less 'performance' oriented. In Kierkegaard's philosophy, I'd be developing (but that really is a long story, and I possess neither the vocabulary nor the mental vigour to describe it at this present hour.)

My Rectification

Let me realise
Let me know
Just excactly how
You would like me to rise

For now my heart's yearn
Is too great
To hear the beat
To know your heart burns

Burn, that my heart does
For your warmth.
T'escape the mirth
Of our missing words

I know that I am not
All you wish
So d'vine is
My acceptance now

That it were not
All entirely so
I do wish, I do